1. Nothing exists unless you’ve heard of it before from family/friends/teachers/place-of-worship during your pre-adult life.
2. Interrupt any spoken sentence longer than six or seven syllables.
3. Any statement that seems confusing at first must have been made by some individual who happens to be a weirdo/nutcase.
4. Any problem/difficulty that you yourself have never encountered before is an excuse/fairy-tale made up by a slacker/stubborn-crybaby/pathological-liar.
5. Anything that fails to entertain you after a long day is one-hundred-percent pure excrement that contains absolutely nothing of any value whatsoever.
6. Anyone who disagrees with your political views has cotton-candy for brains.
7. Anyone who disagrees with your religious/secular views is sick/evil.
8. Anyone who loves doing a job that pays less than yours is a laughable dorkwad.
9. Anyone who is overwhelmed by the stress of a job that pays more than yours is an enviable ingrate.
10. Anyone who has never heard of your favorite movie/book/food is a hermit/Martian.
11. Anyone who is ever in your way for even a nanosecond has never watched where he/she is going once in his/her life.
12. There are two kinds of people:
(b) people to whom you yourself owe at least one favor