Jon Pear (a.k.a. NeuroAster)

Posts Tagged ‘comedy’

no shame

In sigma on March 2, 2010 at 8:55 am

I would just like to say that it is perfectly healthy and natural for a guy to play with his own nipples, and that it’s a beautiful thing. In fact, I feel sorry for any guy who is macho enough to keep his fingertips off his nipples for a full 72 consecutive hours, or even a full 24 consecutive hours. Because that’s just sad. Talk about missing out. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that any guy who is that macho must have some serious issues. I mean c’mon, sheesh already. We’re only alive on this Earth for so long, so make the most of it, explore and enjoy that wonderful nipple-sensitivity in life while there’s still time. I am not ashamed to tell you that I am a man and I finger my nipples daily and, in fact, I am proud of my healthy attitude about it. In fact, I highly recommend fingering one’s nipples in the shower; the soap and water combine to form an absolutely perfect lubricant. There, I said it, and I’m confident that at lest a few guys out there are gonna read this and feel relieved to know that they are not alone. Where do we get the idea that a guy is a sissy and a wuss if he nipples himself anyhow? It’s bullshxt! And besides, studies show that nippling oneself can boost nipple-size and even make more chest-hairs grow. It’s a fact. Science proves it. All the more reason why we, as guys, should be less uptight about this sort of thing. Incidentally, did I mention that I also jack-off a lot?

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This may offend some shopaholics

In my world on February 3, 2009 at 12:39 pm

Push a shopping-cart through the aisles of the Retail-Maze

Boxes, jars, and cans, grams and litres of wants and needs

Endless, grueling, soul-numbing task that my spouse enjoys

How I hate the grand scenic tour of competing brands

What a relief to finally haul the groceries home

Mention another “coupon” or “sale” to me, and I’ll scream

Has to be the most deathly-spiritless chore of chores

Push a shopping-cart through the aisles of the Retail-Maze