Jon Pear (a.k.a. NeuroAster)

Posts Tagged ‘visitors’

Ten Things You Never See

In Uncategorized on January 18, 2010 at 12:46 pm

1. the wind

2. gravity

3. sound waves

4. infrared light

5. cloaking devices

6. albino unicorns

7. God holding a press conference

8. fine print written with invisible ink

9. phonetic alphabet soup

10. chocolate nanochips

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oh hai i typd new werdz an stuff on mah blawg

In Uncategorized on January 4, 2010 at 11:45 am

January 4th, 2010 feels like life as usual

Rising from bed and turning off an alarm-clock

Morning with a cold, black sky and a tired search for new material

Taking a shower, grooming, taking a short walk

Long underwear, thick socks, my layers of clothing envelop

Bundled in a Winnipegger’s anti-frostbite-suit

Come home with a cleared mind for typing some text on a laptop

Blaudience, I’m here, and I am more or less alright

Time to consume some coffee and a bowl of Corn Flakes

Then I’ve got a pile of dishes to wash

Time for a morning-snuggle with my spouse, a nice kiss

Chat about some chicken-soup for our lunch

Somehow, we’re still surviving the stressed, crowded post-industrial world

It’s a miracle we’re still here, facing the dawn

Facing the punctuality-rush, Monday morning’s panic and speed

Monday, January 4th, 2010

Egg-sucking 101 for Dummies

In Uncategorized on November 24, 2009 at 9:53 pm

1. Mindfully keep the egg a safe distance away from your teeth. It is easier than one might imagine to reflexively close one’s jaws together on the egg and break its shell.

2. Hold the egg between your thumb and forefinger, firmly enough to maintain a secure grip on it, but not tightly enough to break the shell.

3. There’s no shame in hard-boiling the egg before sucking it, making it a “safe egg” (No runny yolk mess if you do break the shell). Even professional egg-suckers use “safe eggs,” acknowledging that nobody is perfect, and even a professional might not be in top form during one particular session, and might end up breaking the shell. HOWEVER: Be sure to WAIT until the egg COOLS after boiling it, to avoid getting a bad burn on your lips or tongue, which are your body’s built-in sucking equipment!

4. Beginners should start with sucking the small end of the egg. When you have mastered the skill enough to hold the egg solely in your lips (“Look ma, no hands” so2speak), ONLY THEN will you have proven yourself worthy to start with the big end of the egg.

5. Know your eggs:

  • U.S. Grade AA eggs have whites that are thick and firm; yolks that are high, round, and practically free from defects; and clean, unbroken shells. Grade AA and Grade A eggs are best for frying and poaching where appearance is important.
  • U.S. Grade A eggs have characteristics of Grade AA eggs except that the whites are “reasonably” firm. This is the quality most often sold in stores.
  • U.S. Grade B eggs have whites that may be thinner and yolks that may be wider and flatter than eggs of higher grades. The shells must be unbroken, but may show slight stains. This quality is seldom found in retail stores because they are usually used to make liquid, frozen, and dried egg products, as well as other egg-containing products (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/ )

As a beginner, you need to master using U.S Grade AA eggs first.

6. If you are eager to begin mastering the “egg and flow” trick (using the strength and dexterity of your lips to slide the egg slightly deeper into your mouth and then back out again, repeatedly), your ambition is commendable. HOWEVER: Start SLOWLY at first, and then GRADUALLY increase your speed. It takes time and patience to master this.

7. Always have numerous quantities of eggs at your disposal (the more the merrier), especially if you are a beginner.

8. Always keep your eggs refrigerated.

9. Have a daily scheduled time to practice your egg-sucking, and stick to it.

10. Have fun 🙂

NEW WEATHER UPDATE: rainy day

In my world on May 25, 2009 at 2:05 pm

Yeah, it’s raining today, but y’know, sometimes it does have to rain

Lawns and gardens are thirsty again; so are the crops, corn and grain

Yeah, we need our umbrellas and boots, under a sky gray with clouds

Yeah, it’s chilly and windy, but don’t worry ‘cause this too shall pass

We’ll be wiping sweat off our brows in the sun’s intense heat before you know it

We shall tan again, have our picnics, and ride our bikes, once the rain has ended

May through August are sunny and hot months we enjoy while we can

Yeah, it’s raining today, but y’know, sometimes it does have to rain

This ever happen2you?

In my world on March 9, 2009 at 3:30 pm

Suddenly, I felt this strong craving for fruit

Suddenly, I felt this dry ache in my throat

Suddenly, I felt that Kraft Dinner is gross

Suddenly, I needed sweet, natural juice

Suddenly, I needed and grabbed that can of pineapple-slices

Suddenly, I felt the relief of making sensible choices

Suddenly, I knew my whole diet is shxt

Suddenly, I felt this strong craving for fruit

still in one piece

In Uncategorized on February 11, 2009 at 12:13 pm

Dangerously slippery ice on Winnipeg sidewalks

Moment when it rained and it froze, a treacherous nuisance

Ambulances rush to the scenes where bones have been broken

Winnipeggers awkwardly walk in terror, with caution

Each foot shall slide in due time

Safe just to stay inside home

Frictionless terrain is a bane that drives us to madness

Dangerously slippery ice on Winnipeg sidewalks

just an update

In schmategory on December 26, 2008 at 11:33 pm

Those of you who ask, please know that yes, I am okay

Tolerating life’s butt-end by living day to day

Living in a iron-fist-minded world of gain and loss

Sharing with my spouse true love, surviving every curse

Silence is not necessarily a red alert

Sanity’s down-time is healthy in a world of clout

Difficult events take place; we slowly find our way

Those of you who ask, please know that yes, I am okay

Free headache available here :)

In Uncategorized on August 22, 2008 at 8:50 am

Is the word “heterological”, meaning “not applicable to itself,” a heterological word?

What would happen if an unstoppable force hit an immovable object?

Why is the night sky black if there is an infinity of stars?

Can a time traveler send himself information with no outside source?

If truth does not exist, does that mean that the statement “truth does not exist” is itself a truth, thereby proving itself incorrect?

CONNECTION FAILURE:

In Uncategorized on August 16, 2008 at 9:24 am

Currently unable to blog or network from home due to technical difficulties. Either our modem is defective, or possibly a server-error has occurred. Am posting this message from a public-terminal at the http://millenniumlibrary.com/ here in http://winnipeg.ca/interhom Please Stand By.

 

Irving the Talking Hypercube says: CUT THE CRAP NERDOLOSER AND GET A LIFE NOBODY WANTS TO READ YOUR OLD BOVINE SCATOLOGY (B.S) ROUTINE OF MAKING UP SAD STORIES ABOUT YOUR STUPID COMPUTER AND EXPECTING US TO FEEL SORRY FOR YOU NEXT YOU’D HAVE US BELIEVE THAT THE PRINTED CIRCUIT BOARDS CAME OUT OF YOUR STUPID COMPUTER AND DID A TAP-DANCE OR SOMETHING

 

neuroaster says: Lick skunks, Irving the Talking Hypercube, kiss my mouse and suck my muthafxxkin’ disk.

 

TGIF

In Uncategorized on August 1, 2008 at 11:26 am

Welcome to Quicksand Island, the home of Lower Fort Knox

Here, you are fed for helping to move ginormous gold-bricks

Here, you are clothed for flattering every briefcase, each tie

Shelter you get for punctual shift-attendance each day

Now the complacent-people, without even a clue to stand on

People who wave a magic-wand back at each solution

People who read a high-verb low-pronoun diet

Welcome you here, to live a life lost in the public-armpit

Now, and not one single nanosecond later than now

Screams of “SHUT UP ! ! !” burst from mouths, and cars collide on the go

Heart-attacks meet deadlines; every task is scheduled and due

Now, and not one single nanosecond later than now

Cradle to grave, alarm-clock to coffin, the process never does stop

Cradle to grave, alarm-clock to coffin, and every person dies cheap

You are a kludge, replaced by machines when every bone breaks

Welcome to Quicksand Island, the home of Lower Fort Knox

THE WEATHER REPORT

In Uncategorized on July 21, 2008 at 4:28 pm

Winnipeg’s heat in July and August bakes and bathes your face in your salty sweat

Sandals and shorts and our anti-sunburn-ointments, getting scorched in the rays can hurt

Days when the hornets and wasps and bees are droning, cursed Al-Qaeda of insect-life

Days when our toes and our heels go naked out on sand; we splash in the tides and laugh

Lemonade, ice-cream, and popsicles

Buildings with blessed air-conditioners

Lawns and mosquitoes enjoy the drenching rain, and humans notice the stars at night

Winnipeg’s heat in July and August bakes and bathes your face in your salty sweat

I’m in a good mood today :)

In schmategory on May 28, 2008 at 6:24 pm

Colors and shapes of oranges and grapes

Dream of a rainbow, dream of an eclipse

Bitters and sweets are melting in your mouth

Gaze at a bold aurora in the north

Junction of the Red and Assiniboine Rivers

Canopy of stars over snuggles and kisses

Open your voice in melody and praise

Open your eyes; delight in the displays

Colors and shapes of oranges and grapes

blogdog

In schmategory on March 7, 2008 at 12:48 am

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blogwash

In schmategory on March 5, 2008 at 9:05 pm

Yes, we still eat a diet of salt, sugar, and fat

Yes, we still eat synthetically made chemical shxt

Habits don’t change as fast as the new rules we design

Habits don’t meet the needs that we most recently learn

Once, we grabbed fruit from trees like we grab burgers and fries

Once, we speared beasts who roared like the worst shxt from our boss

We can plan well, but few of our rushed choices are smart

Yes, we still eat a diet of salt, sugar, and fat

fun blogmeme

In Uncategorized on February 18, 2008 at 10:43 am

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That’s what 🙂

wheee_e_eeee

In schmategory on February 4, 2008 at 8:42 pm

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emoticons eat tags and widgets

In Uncategorized on January 14, 2008 at 10:04 am

All humans are marching to a mute pulse

Ears listen to silences in deep space

Just look at the clarity of blank voids

Rise up from the aftermath of bad grades

Energize and participate in counterpoint

Counterpoint is democracy’s electorate

Intimacy refreshes and rejuvinates

Intimacy connects us with the universe

Taste and see how the universe engages minds

I’m a human in Winnipeg where snowflakes land

I rejoice in my spouse, and I rejoice in love

Cherish love as a nurturing, redeeming salve

Winnipeg, a municipality of electrons

Circulating in wires, enabling our connections

Winnipeg is the main environment I encounter

Winnipeg is the home I recognize in my wetware

We can emerge from the impact of the innocent one

Damage-control is the hindsight of the optimist-clown

We can become our salvation from authority’s grave

We can re-kindle vitality we need to survive

We humans are challenging the whole Earth

Each birth is supplying the demand-growth

We humans are present as a fierce force

We humans are marching to a mute pulse

Convert This:

In Uncategorized on November 24, 2007 at 5:58 pm

Yes, it’s true, I am a Secular Humanist ; yes I am

Yes, I question all perceptions that writings and mouths proclaim

Yes, I know one day I’ll flatline and then I’m supposed to “burn”

I have known injustice anyhow ; thank you for your concern

Yes, it’s likely Jesus biodegraded as wetware lost

Why does that mean pearls like “do unto others” are cherished less?

We are joined by axiologies ever so much the same

Yes, it’s true, I am a Secular Humanist ; yes I am

Ever feel walked on?

In Uncategorized on November 8, 2007 at 3:46 am

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?

In Uncategorized on November 3, 2007 at 8:24 am

Is this sentence a question or a metaquestion?